No Good At Love: Behind The Music Video & Thriving Past Sexual Abuse Through Music With Recording Artist Maxx Nies on Episode #0222

Maxx Nies [0:00]
Hi, I’m Maxx Nies, and you can find me at ItsMaxxMusic.com and you’re listening to EA Interviews.

Intro [0:06]
EA Interviews.Episode 222, inspiration, transformation, success stories and The Imperfect Action Round seven days a week. Join Mario Fachini. For today’s Expert Authority Effect Interview.

Mario Fachini [0:19]
Expert Authority World, I want to ask you have you ever felt like you’re no good at love? I have felt this way in the past. And I’m sure you have to, no one is perfect. But it’s interesting, because we all have varying degrees of what that means in our lives. And I’m very excited to bring to you today’s VIP guest, Maxx Nies, and she’s a recording artist from LA, she just dropped her new single. And her story is incredible. And I know I normally come on here and I’m all like, Hey, dude, it’s gonna be great this and that. And I got to be honest, this is going to be a hard hitting interview. And I knew we needed to get her message out there , because she’s helping so many people. It could be a story of victim, but she’s turning it into victor or we all have stuff in our past that we’re overcoming and what she’s doing with her music is so incredible. I don’t know if you ever had suicide, the thoughts of Suicide, Depression, Anxiety, Sexual Abuse, from age, six. These are all things she’s overcame. And I’m very excited to bring her up. Right after we thank our sponsor.

Sponsor – Free Business Book Publishing Course [1:33]
Every business needs a book, including yours, visit FreeBusinessBookPublishingCourse.com. today to learn the seven steps to publish and promote your nonfiction lead and profit generating business book in eight weeks. Once again, that’s FreeBusinessBookPublishingCourse.com.

Mario Fachini [1:49]
Here she is ladies and gentlemen, Maxx. Nies, Maxx. How are you feeling today?

Maxx Nies [1:53]
I’m good. How are you? Thank you so much for having me.

Mario Fachini [1:56]
I’m doing great. And the pleasure is mine. I can’t wait for you to share your story. You know, the floor is yours. Please go into detail and just share with us. And I think it’s great what you’re doing, like I was saying before, because, so many people could, you know, look at this as a tragedy instead of a triumph and use it to say I’m a victim instead of a victory. So, say whatever you want, it’s your episode.

Maxx Nies [2:27]
Oh, thank you. It all started when I was a baby. And my mom and my dad were, they were never together, it wasn’t the best relationship. And when my mom found out that she was having a baby, he didn’t really want to be in the picture or want to go through with having a kid at all. And she was not agreeing to that she was like, I’m having this baby, no matter what. And it kind of just showed throughout my life that he didn’t want to have a kid at all. And he was very abusive, and just angry and had his own issues. As young as I can remember till age 9, I was being abused at his house. And I never spoke about it because it was kind of just like, what I was used to, like, I didn’t really know any different. And once I was nine years old, my body and my mind just started reacting to it. And I wasn’t like sane anymore, if that makes any sense. And I started developing all these mental disorders and coping skills to help me get through what I was going through and that involved eating disorders. And I had really bad OCD. I had really bad Depression and Anxiety. And that started really coming out and showing around age like eight and nine. And my mom put me in therapy. And I started telling the therapist just like what my life, was like what was going on at his house and everything and she was like this is not okay. And that was the first time I ever really like looked at my life and face, that there was abuse in it and that what was going on wasn’t okay, and it’s not normal, and it’s not a good thing and my mom immediately moved me out of the state. We both moved to Ohio, where my aunt and her family lived and the plan was to live with them and then find our way by ourselves out there but my mom ended up getting a job offer out here in LA and we took it immediately. Because, it was an amazing opportunity. And we moved out here and I just struggled a lot with my Mental Health, I was really sick from being malnourished. My anxiety and depression were awful, I was suicidal, just everything in the book I was dealing with. And I was put in rehab centers and hospitals and stuff like that. And I really couldn’t find any help, because I really just didn’t want it in a way like, I wanted to get better. And I wanted to be happy, but I didn’t really want to, I didn’t have enough motivation in myself. And that’s kind of where music comes in. Because, I started writing about these things, and my Anxiety and Depression and all these feelings. And I was also working with my uncle who’s a Spiritual Life Coach, and he started showing me a different approach to healing and that really helped with helped me out.

Mario Fachini [6:03]
And what was that?

Maxx Nies [6:08]
He brought me back basically, to my childhood; Mentally, we went back into my childhood, and really faced what I went through, and felt all of the feelings that I was suppressing and dealt with all the things that I just kind of swept under the rug, and never really looked at, and came to a place of self-love and forgiveness to the people who were not good to me, including my father and his friend and his family, and just forgiving those people; myself too. Because ,I’ve been very damaging to myself, most of my life, because that’s kind of what I was taught, you know, like, once you grow up learning, abuse, you start kind of just, that feels normal. So, when I stopped seeing my Dad, I kind of took the place of abusing myself, and all the abuse that he wasn’t doing to me once I stopped seeing him, I did to myself in a way.

Mario Fachini [7:12]
And what age was this?

Maxx Nies [7:14]
So, I stopped seeing him at nine years old.

Mario Fachini [7:17]
So, for the first nine years, that was such an example. You didn’t know anything else. And it caught my attention a few minutes ago, when you were saying, that’s just the way it was. And the therapist was saying it’s not normal, but you were just so conditioned, you didn’t even think twice about it until roughly nine.

Maxx Nies [7:35]
Right? Yeah. And then at nine years old, I was going through so much like I just fell into this very dark depression. That was the first thing that happened for me, I guess Anxiety and Depression kind of came in at the same time, which then resulted in me not socializing, and not wanting to leave the house and then not ; I went from being obsessively taking showers, when the sexual abuse started. I didn’t even like put two and two together. But, I started to take showers like multiple showers a day. And I know that’s a result of sexual abuse, just not never feeling clean enough. So, OCD and showering and doing all that kind of stuff is usually tied with sexual abuse. And I can’t even remember where I was getting at with that. But, from the youngest, I can remember ; I was going through all that and just started developing all of these mental disorders and coping mechanisms and the depression kind of led into my eating problems because I stopped eating; just out of not wanting to and just my body literally just shut down. Like I just didn’t want to talk to anyone. I didn’t want to do anything. I wasn’t participating in anything. I stopped eating, I don’t know how my sleeping habits even were I don’t even remember. But that led into like, obsession around food because my mind kind of got addicted to the distraction of focusing on what I wasn’t eating and how my body was feeling. So, I didn’t have to think about all the pain I was going through from the abuse of being at my dad’s house and being with him. So, that eating disorder that I developed was kind of like I don’t know, it was like, a blessing in a way because my mind and my body was not ready to face, what I had gone through at my dad’s house,

Mario Fachini [9:47]
It sounds like it was either totally or in a way like a defense mechanism.

Maxx Nies [9:53]
Totally. Yeah. I was trying to protect myself from facing my own reality. And I kind of needed to do that, because I wasn’t ready to face it.

Mario Fachini [10:06]
And all of this, you know, it’s horrible to hear. And, you know, I’m glad you’re triumphing. But, it’s just kind of hard. I mean, it would be horrible at any age, and you’re talking ever since you can remember till nine, you know, and then, because I’m thinking, grade school sucked to begin with, let alone middle school in high school, at least for me. You know, I can’t even fathom everything else. I mean, just growing up alone is hard enough. And this was such at a young age. So, now you’re at 10,11, 12,13. So, what was different than middle school versus grade school? And then take us into high school?

Maxx Nies [10:54]
Yeah. So, fourth grade was the last grade that I fully was in. I was once fifth grade happened. I was in such an awful place. My mom would pull up to the school and I would just be like, no, not, I’m not doing this. And she would be like, you have to like, you have to get out. You have to go to school. And I’d be like, I am not going in there. Like I don’t like the kids. They’re mean to me. I don’t like myself. I’m struggling enough with myself. I was like, I couldn’t even go throughout the day peacefully, because I was so like, wrapped up in my head with what I was going through, because, I had just stopped seeing my dad at that moment. And like, entering fifth grade, and it was just awful. And that was like, there’s so much going on. So, it was like; I was moving a lot. So, it felt like I was in school. But I wasn’t at the same time because I was moving. We moved to Ohio. And then we were trying to figure that out. And eventually my Mom was just like, okay, she surrendered to homeschooling. So, from fifth to seventh grade, I think; I had a teacher like a tutor, come to my house and Homeschool me because, I was in such an awful place. And at that point in my life, I really didn’t want to socialize with anyone. I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I spent all of my time alone. And I was a Horseback rider at the time. So, I was at the barn.

Mario Fachini [12:32]
How did you get into that?, That’s sounds fun.

Maxx Nies [12:36]
Yeah, I got into that around six years old. One day, my dad had a girlfriend randomly. She just was at the house one day, he never like explained it to me or anything. She just was at the house and we became friends. And she would come over and I would be there. And she’d be like, what are we doing today? And I’d be like, What do you mean? Like, we don’t do things here. Like my dad was just like, in the other room, and I would just be sitting on a chair for hours waiting to go back to my mom’s house. And this woman walked in the room. And she was like, what are we doing today? And I’d be like, nothing like, you didn’t get the memo. We just sit here and watch whatever we watch until something happens. And she’d be like, no, like, let’s go do something. And one day, the activity was to go to the barn. And she introduced me to these Horses, that she used to ride and stuff. And I fell in love. And, I remember like going to the barn and all of my problems just erasing. Like they were just non existent. I didn’t have anxiety. I didn’t have depression, I was just like, happy and quiet in my head. And just the air with the Horse.

Mario Fachini [13:55]
It was calming.

Maxx Nies [13:56]
Yeah, it was very calming, It was very healing. Like, I don’t know where I would be with that. Honestly, I would not be here without them. Because, when I entered the rehab center I was in. I was not participating at all, like I didn’t care. I was at such a low place. And I hated myself so much. I was just like, I wanted to die. And one day, a counselor came up to me; one that I was really close with and she said you don’t have to do this for yourself. You don’t have to do this at all. But I just want you to remember that you have a Horse that is waiting for you and he’s wondering where you are and I was just like, okay, I’ll start being better now. And that’s really what it took for me to get into this place of like wanting to start healing myself and loving myself. I was like, because I had this horse at the time, who meant everything to me. He was my first Horse. And he literally just was my Angel. I mean, he is my Angel. He’s still alive. He’s just retired now, but, every day I was in there, and it’s still like to this day when I’m having a hard time, I’m like, I did it for Marley. I do it for Marley. Like, he was my biggest thing. And then eventually, it turned into, I do it for myself. And I love myself and I want to be nice to myself, and I want to love myself. And yeah, but I definitely needed that motivator.

Mario Fachini [15:33]
Well, I’m glad you have it. And, I’m seeing that as the story is progressing, how it’s turning into the music and the inspiration. And this isn’t a question, there’s a part coming up that I asked a question, and I guess it could be, but this is more of I want to make sure you should do a mute one of your one of your next music videos. You should do it in a barn with the Horses.

Maxx Nies [16:03]
That is a great idea. Actually.

Mario Fachini [16:06]
The whole time you’ve been talking, I’m just like seeing this whole thing happening. And I’m like, yeah.

Maxx Nies [16:11]
You just got so excited. I would love to do that.

Mario Fachini [16:19]
Yeah, that’s not a random question I wanted to ask. That’s a, you know, I’m making a giant mental asterisk right now.

Maxx Nies [16:29]
No, thank you. I’m definitely going to, right after this. I’m putting something together.

Mario Fachini [16:36]
Jonathan, you hear that? Yeah, don’t deal.

Maxx Nies [16:39]
I will be texting.

Mario Fachini [16:43]
No,I’m just reading it on your face and everything. And it’s in and I wanted to ask you, do you still do the horseback riding?

Maxx Nies [16:51]
So, actually, in 2018, I saw my horse Marley that I was just talking about, he retired, and I got a new horse, and he ended up getting injured, and I couldn’t ride him anymore. So, I started leasing this horse. And he was a lot older than what I was used to, and so much fun and capable of doing everything I needed him for. But one day, I just woke up. And I was like, this is exhausting. And I don’t know if I want to be a horse girl every day all the time anymore. And I was like starting to get back into Music. And I started music when I was like, I don’t I mean, I’ve been doing music since the day I was born. Basically, I’ve been singing my whole life. But, I started like taking lessons in getting a little bit more serious when I was eight, but it was really inconsistent. And then in 2018, I was like kind of not feeling the horse thing anymore. And I was like really wanting to start doing music more seriously. And my Mom was like, you have to choose one or the other because they’re both really expensive. And I can’t afford to do both of them. So, I was like, I think I want to give music a go. It’s really calling me and I’m over this period of my life with the horses. And I’m ready to start this up again. So, I started my singing lessons back up, I actually started working with a producer who I’ve been working with now, since that day, or since we first started working together, two years ago or three years ago. And I don’t know, I just went full force into it. And I fell in love with it. And I mean, like I said, I’ve always had the passion around music. But once I started really putting my own personal stories out there and like, into my music, it was a different feeling for me, and like seeing my songs be created and hearing them and working with this Producer, and this Co – Writer and bringing everything to life was just so amazing to me. And it became like, I want to do it again,. I want to remake another song. I started craving it. It became like all I wanted in life. So, I did that. And I was just like, this is what I’m going to do with my life. Once I started working with my uncle, he really encouraged me to start writing about everything I had been through and what I was feeling like every time I would feel something uncomfortable. He’d be like, write it down, write a song, write something. And a lot of the time; In the beginning I was very hesitant. I was like I want to be a Pop Star that sings about boys and fun and this and that and no one’s gonna want to hear about my anxiety or my abuse. Like why would I write songs about that to like depress people, I don’t want to do that. And then I like found this way to do it. So, that it doesn’t make it depressing. And it still gets the message across but it like, in music that makes you feel good and like hopeful and some of it you can dance to and some of it you want to sing along to, I don’t know, I just kind of found this way where I’m satisfied with singing about these topics and feeling good about it.

Mario Fachini [20:18]
If you’re feeling good about it, that’s the key. Because there’s always someone who’s willing to listen to it, because, I would say, arguably, the dark and there’s no arguably, it definitely was. A few years ago, I lost my father. And it kind of stirred up my world. And I was writing more, I think I even talked about it on some of the episodes early on. But you know, my whole life I’ve been joyous and just whatever. And, you know, there’s a time and place for that I love upbeat songs, dancing, you know, I was in band, choir , drama, played Sax, i play Piano. But there’s something to be said about those deep emotional songs, especially on Piano, when it’s just like, you just feel it. And there’s very much you know, from a business standpoint, there’s definitely a market for it. But I mean, it just resonates. There’s very often it’s like, you know, it’s not a party. You know, there’s nothing wrong with the dance music. Definitely love it. And I know my friends that see this are gonna be like, yeah, you do. And yes, because you don’t want to be like, sad all the time, like Moonlight Sonata. You can’t play that 12 hours a day and still be in a good mood. But, if it was never made, or your music was never made, look at all the people you don’t get to help.

Maxx Nies [21:46]
Right, and , you’ll see in my album that I’ll be slowly dropping songs from. They’re not all sad, intense songs like that. And when I first started writing with this producer that I’ve been talking about, there’s like, five, I believe, like five songs on there that are fun dancy songs. And I like sent whenever I write a song, and it’s like, I have a demo of it, I send it to my girl cousins who are all like around. Well, it’s all different ages, but they’re all teenagers now and once like in their 20s. And I like to get feedback from all of them, because they’re like, the age group that I want to target mostly. And when I first started sending them my songs, it was all like those happy, like upbeat songs about like breakups or crushes or boys and whatever. And then I continue to send them my songs, and my youngest cousin who’s at the age of, I think, 12 now, which is so crazy to me. Her favorite song is about my eating disorder. And it’s a really rough emotional song. But it’s her favorite song. And like, that just shows me like, that can reach anyone like she’s 12. And she likes this song that I wrote about, like my struggle with just never really feeling satisfied with myself and starving and wanting this unrealistic feeling 24/7, like, I don’t even know if she understands it from the point that I wrote it at, but it hits her in some way,

Mario Fachini [23:33]
You feel it.

Maxx Nies [23:35]
that’s so powerful to me that a little girl can connect to something like that. And it’s like, I don’t I feel weird saying this, but it’s like sad, but at the same time, it’s realistic. You know, like, she’s so young, she’s 12. And she can connect to a song like that. And maybe it’s not on the same level that I’ve connected to it on. But, she relates to it in some way. And so do a lot of other people that I shared it with. So, it just goes to show you that everyone deals with stuff on from one extent to another, you know, like, we’re all going through stuff. Whether it’s, you’re really sad about how you stubbed your toe this morning, or you’re being sexually abused every night like it. Everyone’s going through something.

Mario Fachini [24:23]
What would you say to someone listening, that whether it’s something extreme, and it’s travesty, and it’s horrible, like sexual abuse, or it’s something minor, like extremely minor, like stubbing your toe and everything in between? What would you say to someone who just feels like, no matter what it is, that’s their mountain that they just, you know, can’t see around it? What’s something you could say to them to say, Hey, you know, it’s gonna be okay, you can do this and get past it.

Maxx Nies [24:54]
Yeah, well, first thing I want to say is that, not one at least, how I like to look at it is not one trauma is worse than another, which is why I bring up this stubbing your toe example because, someone can go through something and it might not affect them the same way that the next person would experience it as you know. So like, whatever you’re feeling, it’s valid, no matter what it sounds like, or feels like, you are the one who’s experiencing it, it doesn’t matter what other people are seeing as. So, for people that are going through things, I want them to know that whatever you’re feeling is valid, and it’s okay to feel it. And you don’t have to be embarrassed or scared to express yourself because, it doesn’t matter what other people think of you. And when it comes to that you have to respect yourself and you have to stand in one with yourself and reach out if you feel the need to reach out and I want to say like I’m here, for everyone, you can DM me on Social Media at Maxx.Nies on Instagram, on my Facebook, it’s Maxx. I’m here and I’m open to talking to anyone who needs help or advice or just someone to talk to I want to be there for everyone, but yeah, just my biggest thing is feel your feelings. Please don’t suppress them. Please don’t use unhealthy coping mechanisms. there is help out there for everyone.

Mario Fachini [26:32]
Well, I’m glad you’re; this is surreal for me, because, I always thought that, you know, I was ambitious from a young age. And I was ahead of my time and everything, but you are just full of wisdom. Because you’re what 20 now?

Maxx Nies [26:53]
Yeah.

Mario Fachini [26:55]
I can tell you and anyone who hears this, even though I didn’t go through anything as horrific as what you did. You’re still speaking to me right now. Because, I was bullied when I was younger. And I would like to say that, you know, I was fine by; well, it wasn’t high school. For sure carried it way longer than I needed to. And It’s surreal, because you’re like, well, you know, it’s hitting home with her. And she’s so young. And I’m thinking, well, one, you were so young, too. But also, you are so young. You have everything ahead of you. Your starting point is, I mean, I started my first business at 12. But mentally, I was still working on stuff for a while even when you made the crack at your cousin, you’re like, well, they’re all in their teens, but she’s in her 20s. And I’m thinking yeah, that’s much older. You know? So, I’m glad you’re doing this, because people need to hear this, you know, whether they’re 10,20, 30,40, 50,60 or 95. I know, there’s people that are even twice my age that I’ve helped them, you know, just see things differently. And it’s like, you’ve been carrying that, you know, I used to think, because I used to be your age at one point a few years ago. And I used to think these people have been dealing with this longer, than I’ve even been alive. And it was just hard to conceptualize and everything. So, thank you for sharing this. We got to thank our sponsor, and we’re gonna do The Wheel of Whatever, right real quick. And it actually is a wheel. Oh, don’t fall. Good. Is it gonna fall? No. So, my question for you is, who is someone like a recording artist, recording artist musician, who would you love to do a song with a duet and the music video?

Maxx Nies [29:08]
Oh my gosh.

Mario Fachini [29:10]
Yes, I love The Wheel of Whatever; I get to ask anyone, whatever they want to get away from, get away with it, because it’s the wheel and it’s not really me.

Maxx Nies [29:20]
I would. I’ve spoken about this on other podcasts too. But Taylor Swift, is like my biggest inspiration ever. And a lot of the things that I’ve learned, and a lot of things that I have brought into my artist; today are inspired by her and she has taught me, so, if I could do anything with her, it would be an absolute dream come true. I die for her.

Mario Fachini [29:51]
That’s a little surreal to be honest with you because, when you were talking about some of the things earlier episode three of the show, Rick Barker was Taylor’s original manager and former manager. And I had him on the show, right, right after I started it, and I was gonna wait till after we’re off the air and say, You know, I think there may be a synergy there. You know, he’s been huge in the industry. But yeah, he actually helped manage Taylor.

Maxx Nies [30:21]
Oh my god, well, yeah,she’s.

Mario Fachini [30:22]
More than happy to at least introduce you to, no promises or anything. I don’t know if, you know, he started his own thing a while ago, to focus on family and some stuff, you know, he has a great story. But you know, and anyone I can put you in touch with, and I know there’s other people that are upcoming on the show, you know, anything I can do to help, I’d be more than happy to.

Maxx Nies [30:47]
That would be a dream come true. I really, would appreciate it.

Mario Fachini [30:51]
She is cool. I like her too. We’re going to thank the sponsor real quick, and come back for The Imperfect Action Round.

Sponsor – Free Business Book Publishing Course [30:59]
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Mario Fachini [32:30]
And we are back with The Imperfect Action Round Maxx, are you ready to take Imperfect Action?

Maxx Nies [32:36]
I am.

Mario Fachini [32:37]
Alright, these are 60- second answers real quick. Got a couple questions for you. One,if someone has something holding them back, what’s the best way to just still go for it?

Maxx Nies [32:53]
I always like to tell myself fear is not real. And then once I do that, I’m like, wait, so I’m not scared. And then you have nothing to be scared of. And then you just do it.

Mario Fachini [33:05]
Two. Have you ever thought about being a motivational speaker outside of recording artist?

Maxx Nies [33:11]
I haven’t until, I started doing these podcasts and I’m really enjoying it. So, I would consider it.

Mario Fachini [33:20]
Three, you absolutely should. You’re amazing. And I wasn’t sure if you had or not because well, not everyone has, but I definitely have some. I see some things for your next decade.

Maxx Nies [33:38]
Thank you so much.

Mario Fachini [33:40]
That wasn’t a question, but we’re gonna pretend it was because it’s my show and I’m not gonna get in trouble for it. Where would you like people to learn more about you, And check out your new music video, which is awesome.

Maxx Nies [33:53]
Yes, thank you so much. I’m on all Social Media platforms on Instagram. I’m at Maxx.Nies, and it’s Maxx with two x’s, on Spotify and my music platforms. I’m Max x. My YouTube. I mean, yeah, my YouTube is Maxx. You can find my music video there. I have a Facebook page. And then my website is also itsmaxmusic.com.

Mario Fachini [34:22]
Well, I am so glad we got the chance to connect in for you to share with Expert Authority World, because I know I’m not the only one who’s benefiting from this and it resonated with and I can’t wait to further promote it ongoing, because I definitely see where you’re going over this next decade.

Maxx Nies [34:41]
Well thank you so much. And thank you for believing in me and supporting me and having me on the show. It means so much.

Mario Fachini [34:50]
The pleasure on it. It’s an honor and the pleasure is honestly mine. All right, Expert Authority World. We have another great episode here today. I’ll see you tomorrow. Have a great day. And God bless.

Sponsor – Free Business Book Publishing Course [35:05]
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www.EAInterviews.com [35:39]
Hey, thanks for listening to today’s episode. I hope you got a lot out of it. I know I sure did. If you haven’t done so already, I invite you to subscribe to the show. And also be sure to check out ea interviews.com for complete shownotes the full interview video experience links to the resources we mentioned and more. Have a blessed day and I’ll see you tomorrow.